January dubbed divorce month

While Christmas is not the sole cause of divorce, many couples find themselves separating after the festive holidays, due to financial pressures, spending more time together, general stress or just not wanting to face another year unhappy.

Some couples may stay together to see through the end of the year and have one more family Christmas before going their separate ways.  There’s no magic wand to save a marriage if it’s well and truly over but small changes during intense times can reduce the stress.

If there are tell-tale signs in your marriage that you’re headed for divorce, make some changes and just maybe you could make your last one a little better.

Stress and finances play a huge part in break-ups at any time of the year, but they are intensified during the festive period.  Can you find ways to spend less by deciding on a budget and sticking to it?  It may mean coming to an agreement with friends and family that you only spend a small amount on them, thus taking the pressure off.  You might find that your friends and family are relieved to hear this too.

Do your kids really need to get everything on their list?  Think twice about buying unnecessary stuff just to fill the Santa bag that only ends up getting ditched after a couple of days anyway.

We also tend to overspend on food and drink which you end up throwing – there’s only so much you can eat and the shops are only closed for a couple of days.   Don’t get swept up in the idea of having the perfect ‘movie’ Christmas at the expense of your marriage or your own sanity.

Perhaps you end up arguing about who’s house you will go to and who’s family gets the most time with you?  Sit down and decide together, making sure each of you agree on the arrangements.  Be a little selfish and make sure you are doing what is right for your family and not to appease others.

Maybe you just want to get through the holidays ready for a fresh start in the New Year to go it alone.  Whatever the New Year brings you be sure to do what makes you happy.  Allow yourself some down time from overthinking and enjoy the Christmas period as best you can with your loved ones.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

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